Maybe there is a god...

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/South/11/24/klan.initiation.ap/


AHAhAHahA!!!!

Is there anything witty to say about assholes?

Yes, but for now I haven't got the patience to figure out a proper derrogatory title.

Yesterday was a real bitch of a day. I had to work nearly 16 hours with no break and I was shorthanded because I had to send this whiny bitch, Jenny, home for being a whiny bitch. Let me describe Jenny for you. She's five foot nothing, 80lbs wrapped in lead, blonde and the worst excuse for a pseudo-intellectual I have ever met and apparently the best Florida has to offer. Some of her claims to fame are an affinity for "nice" things (like fake designer handbags) and a really bad habit of touching people when they don't want to be spoken to, let along touched.

I was roughly halfway through my shift when Jenny arrived. It was a very busy day. For some fucking reason this area of Florida attracts the kind of nuts that need to get to the Pet Store at 8am. The traffic of people had not stopped since we opened, and several hours later, was hitting another high peak. I had Jenny on a cash register since she is good at it and wouldn't bug me with questions while I attended to manager things. While at the register, Jenny's cellphone rings and she leaves a customer in the middle of a sale to answer it. I look over at her, call her a few times and she finally tells the person on her phone "Ok, I really have to go now." I was going to wait until later to tell her that if I caught her again on her phone, I would write up a warning. I never got to that point, because Jenny decided to go play with the ferrets (and playing with the animals is a huge no-no during peak hours) and I told her to put the ferret back in the playpen. She said no.

No? She just fucking said no to me?!

"You can't boss me around."

........ahahahaha! I'm her boss, of course I can. Rather than get into a tiff in front of all the customers, I asked her to follow me to the back room so we could discuss things. She said no and that she didn't want me to talk to her for the rest of the day. Right, when your boss tells you to do something, do you tell them to leave you the fuck alone? No, unless you have an issue. If you have an issue, you talk about it instead of being a fucking child.

A few minutes later, she told me she was going to the back room for a few minutes. I told her that I would go with her and that we would talk. She protested, but I didn't give a fuck and I told her to tell me what the hell her issue is. She told me that I couldn't boss her around. I said "Yes, I can." with a full grin, because now I didn't have to look stoic in front of the customers. She proceeded to tell me about how she was offered my job, but she refused it, and that was the only reason I had my current job. I laughed and said "I have my job, you have your job. My job is to manage. Your job is to do what the management tells you." to which she ranted about how none of the other managers tell her to stay off the phone or not play with the animals. "Well, Theresa lets me..." and I wanted to fucking slap her. I wonder if she realized how childish she sounded. She started to swear at me when I told her that I didn't care about how I got my job or what other managers do, so I told her to go home. And she did.

For the rest of the day, I was actuallt kind of happy. Today I came into work with a smile and Jenny was very angry. I wonder why?

I love being a boss.

God's Billboards

I don't think I ever really paid attention to billboards while driving in Massachusetts. Why? Because if you looked away for a second, you either hit someone or you missed your exit. I bring this to prepare to mock God's Billboards, an ad campaign that some stupid people started back in the late 90's and that recently made headlines when a mexican food joint used God as a spokesperson, outraging area Christians who prefered "Big Bang Theory, you have got to be kidding. -God" over "Welcome to Moe's. -God". Idiots. I am going to make my own billboards. Here are some sample phrases:

Lobsters are an abomination.

-God

What part of "sell your possessions and live a good life" did you not understand?

-God

I can't believe you fell for it.

-God

I saw that.

-God

When I said to slay your enemies, I meant it.

-God

mary was lousy in bed.

-God

Satan is my homeboy.

-God

Where the fuck did you get 'chocolate eggs' from

'death of Chrst'?

-God

You think I did this all for YOU?!

-God

I fucking hate you, Bill.

-God

Show me the burnt offerings!

-God

Mental Decay

“The Supreme Court has said it’s unconstitutional to teach creation in the classroom . So we either risk violating a school board directive or risk breaking the law. What are we to do?”

In case the news isn't something you read everyday, here's the article I pulled this from. I'll let you catch up on it while I bash my face into the wall in a vain attempt to force this utter bullshit from my skull.

Scary, isn't it? It makes me pretty pissed off when I write such a nice rant on how much Red states suck and a Blue state does something stupid like this. Morons are everywhere. Hell, I'm from Massachusetts and the two towns next to my hometown voted for Bush.

"What are we to do?"

DON'T BREAK THE FUCKING LAW, YOU CUNT! The orders of a school board do not override those of the Supreme Court. Why won't this fuck try to fight the school board? Because if this teacher loses her job, she's fucked. Teachers make so little as it is, she can't afford to fight for her principles! She didn't go to college for 5 or 6 years just to get fired for disobeying the school board when they are blatantly ignoring the Constitution. The Supreme Court is falling apart as it is, soon they'll be mandating that Creationism (which is Intelligent Design without the apologetics) in public schools. Right? Right.

Advocates of Intelligent Design are Creationists. ID is Creationism in stealth. ID is total bullshit and has no place in public schools. The people who push this shit say evolution, a scientific theory and fact, is "just a theory" and should be approached with an open mind. Fucking funny that these morons would want anything looked at with an open mind. Everything about ID is lacking when it comes to being a "scientific" theory. This site offers several pages on what a scientific theory is. You will see that ID fails miserably to even approach the scientific method, let alone stand along side a tried and tested theory like evolution.

I hate Christians. They are ruining this country.

Fuck The Red States: A Reflection on Fuck The South

Fuck the South. This is perhaps the greatest thing I have read since the election. I don't know when this was written, or who wrote it, but it sums up everything I feel about the South. Here are some choice quotes:

"Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?"

"No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states."

"All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice."

Being a Massachusetts transplant to Florida, that last one really makes me giggle. What makes me giggle even more are the neocon responses to this rant that don't have a single valid point or refute one damn thing my Northern Blue friend says.

This guy should have realized that his article was trash when he titled it "Don't Fuck The South". He should have stopped there, but he goes on to make it even more hilarious with lines like

"I was born in Memphis, grew up in Phoenix, got married in Nashville, went on my honeymoon in North Carolina, and live in Austin. Many dear friends grew up in and still reside below the Mason-Dixon Line."

And

"...yes, it's ignorant in many ways."

Thank you, Captain Obvious. You are the shining lone star of the South. It wasn't so much the previous statements that made me want to write this as much as the following did:

"The south gave us Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, Michael Jordan, Hank Williams, Tennessee Williams, fried chicken, Gone With The Wind, Truman Capote, pecan pie, barbecue, Mark Twain, and manned flight. The list goes on and on. Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were both from Virginia, both founding fathers and both gun-toting slave owners. If you say 'fuck the South," you're saying fuck Nashville and Charlotte and Charleston, and Atlanta, and Austin, and New Orleans, and Athens, Georgia, the city that gave us the B52s and R.E.M."


(For some reason, this won't post as normal font. This is my reply)

Ok, here goes: I liked "A Boy Named Sue" and the cover of "Hurt", dead, I hate basketball, I hate country music and I'm sure Elvis is angry Hank was mentioned, The Glass Menagerie and A Streetcar Named Desire are highschool level reading (and let's not forget that T. Willians spent a lot of time in Key West and New York), Gone With the Wind sucked and I'd like to see more burning, In Cold Blood doesn't say much for the crime rate in the South, pecan pie was invented by the Karo company, barbecue and fried chicken didn't originate in the South, Mark Twain did a great job satirizing the South and the Wright brothers were not the first to achieve manned flight.

And yes, I am saying fuck Nashville and Charlotte and Charleston, and Atlanta, and Austin, and New Orleans, and all of Georgia, not just Athens. Not only am I saying "Fuck The South". but I am going to elaborate and say "Fuck the Red States" because you redneck neocon freaks always have to get in something like "It's not just the South" or "Other states voted for Bush that weren't Southern", even though the Fuck The South rant didn't mention anything about the election.

I say Fuck The Red States. 26 of the 28 states with the lowest income and highest divorce rate are Red States. The Tax Foundation released a report showing which states benefit from federal tax and which states end up paying for their gain. The top 10 states that get the most while paying the least:

1. D.C. ( A note that this tiny Blue State tops the list has been made)
2. North Dakota
3. New Mexico
4. Mississippi
5. Alaska
6. West Virginia
7. Montana
8. Alabama
9. South Dakota
10. Arkansas

And who supports them?

1. New Jersey
2. Connecticut
3. New Hampshire
4. Nevada
5. Illinois
6. Minnesota
7. Colorado
8. Massachusetts
9. California
10. New York

Do I really need to say more? Fuck The Red States.