God's Billboards

I don't think I ever really paid attention to billboards while driving in Massachusetts. Why? Because if you looked away for a second, you either hit someone or you missed your exit. I bring this to prepare to mock God's Billboards, an ad campaign that some stupid people started back in the late 90's and that recently made headlines when a mexican food joint used God as a spokesperson, outraging area Christians who prefered "Big Bang Theory, you have got to be kidding. -God" over "Welcome to Moe's. -God". Idiots. I am going to make my own billboards. Here are some sample phrases:

Lobsters are an abomination.

-God

What part of "sell your possessions and live a good life" did you not understand?

-God

I can't believe you fell for it.

-God

I saw that.

-God

When I said to slay your enemies, I meant it.

-God

mary was lousy in bed.

-God

Satan is my homeboy.

-God

Where the fuck did you get 'chocolate eggs' from

'death of Chrst'?

-God

You think I did this all for YOU?!

-God

I fucking hate you, Bill.

-God

Show me the burnt offerings!

-God