To the humble government of Mexico:

It is with tremendous guilt that the USATDS issues this formal appology for the former diplomatic leaders that once ruled this country like a pack of rabid hamsters. They did not represent the good people of the USATDS, but instead represented the vapid, disgusting, self righteous, ignorant swine that the world so despises. The denizens here were temporarily condemned to the soap opera that George W Bush and his henchmen directed. The rest of the world, too, was forced to endure the annoying drivel of a half assed cowboy. It is a shame that will takes years to rebound from.

As a token of our esteem and our sincerest appologies, the USATDS is giving back to the grande muchachos in Mexico the land that is rightfully yours, the land that we made an egregious mistake in annexing back in 1845 (we blame James Polk, but no one remembers who the fuck he is, anyway). Dear friends in Mexico...we give back Texas.

Your benevolent and appreciative allies,
The United States of America That Don't Suck