Literary Genius

A Poem About Syrup

by Protagonist

When I think about Mrs. Butterworth

It makes me want to touch my vagina

Don't tell Aunt Jemima

Cars

I hate cars. I hate them because they are a necessary machine which I have no working knowledge of past the "turn key and vroom" concept. They are expensive, hard to maintain, a symbol of the inept American industry and everyone has a better one than I do.

Today was quite an adventure. I wandered around south Florida looking for some way to fix my van, Lummox--a 1993 Chevy Astro. It didn't start when I went to leave work. It turned over but wouldn't catch, so I had to abandon it and commandeer my grandmother's car to search for a car medic. Apparently this problem occurs often, says Robbie from Autozone. It could be one of any number of problems which are generally easy to fix. (Yippie!) Or, it could be some mechanism that is very expensive to fix and would take a long time.....


For Sale:
1993 Chevy Astro Van
100K+ miles, blue, as is, $800 or best offer

Perhaps some sympathy?

Has anyone noticed how badly the Chechen rebels are kicking the crap out of Russia? Plane hijackings, suicide bombings, hostage situations....Islamic militants get to have all the fun.

This link at MSNBC has a list of several Chechen attacks if you scroll down a little. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5907424/

The Chechen's are some pretty gutsy people and are a great example of what religious fanatics are capable of. If they weren't god-fearing nutcases, I would definitely want them as a apart of my global domination campaign. Their beliefs may not suit them to work for my military, but they have shown me how desperately weak Russia is.

Have you noticed attacks of this magnitude on the United States? No. September 11th was he most balls anyone in the world gathered since Pearl Harbor. The Oklahoma City bombing stands out as a small Christian terror act, but not nearly as grand as the events of 9/11 or Pearl Harbor. Those Japs had some gaul.

Russia will be easy to take over. Their military is poorly trained yet supplied well enough to pose a threat to other countries. They have weapons I can use to influence small European countries to assimilate into my vast Empire.

Thank you, Chechnya. You are making my plans flow very smoothly.